


Tension

by rosiethewriter



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally driven, Family, Fighting, Love, M/M, Makeup, Tension, True Love, larry tweets, styles-tomlinson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-24
Updated: 2013-07-24
Packaged: 2017-12-21 06:06:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/896721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosiethewriter/pseuds/rosiethewriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is drowning. He needs to get out. Get away from the endless fighting. Needs to stop it. Put an end to it. Hateful words are exchanged. Separations. And Makeups.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tension

**Author's Note:**

> You all can thank James Arthurs' Impossible for this one. Let me know what you think! Oh and this was posted on tumblr at Larrytweets.tumblr.com

Tension. The room was filled with it. Inescapable. He felt like he was drowning in it. He had to get out. Get out. He needed to get out. Needed to clear his head. All he had been doing for the past 3 weeks was fight with Louis. Fight over how to parent Leah. Fight over every little thing.

“Well at least I was home last night…” Louis spits out at him, in the middle of a fight. A fight neither of them really knew how it had started.

“I needed fresh air, yeah? Is that all right with you? You don’t own me, you know.” Harry raises his voice, cutting him off.

“I’m your husband! You owe that much to me and to Leah.”

“You know what? You were my husband, because I can’t take this anymore.” Harry snaps, turning around and stalking up the stairs.

“YOU?! YOU CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE? Who has been here with OUR daughter? Who has been taking care of the house? Who has been cooking and cleaning? WHO?!” Louis shouts running after him.

“FIRST OF ALL, WHO TOOK CARE OF EVERTHING BEFORE LEAH? HUH? WHO DID EVERYTHING THEN? AND SECONDLY SHE’S YOUR DAUGHTER, NOT MINE!” Harry yells, freezing as the words tumble out of his mouth like vomit, unable to stop himself. Lou stares at him, expression blank. “…I…I didn’t mean that…” Harry says, but the damage was done.

Lou pulls his ring off and throws it at his feet, before turning and stalking out of the room, slamming the door behind him so hard a picture on the wall crashes to the floor. Harry stares down at the black and silver band on the floor and gasps for air, trying with all his might to keep from breaking down. He just needed to pack a bag and get out of there. Get out of there and go to a safe place, then he could cry and scream. But he can’t move. All he can do is sit there and stare at the ring on the floor, mocking him. ‘Till death do them part’ his arse. Nothing lasted forever.

He shakes his head and grabs for his bag. He throws some necessities in it, before filling it with clothes. One of the last things he does is bend down to pick up the ring, not trusting himself to get it before he absolutely had to. It weighs heavy in the palm of his hand. And he stares at it for a few moments before blinking, setting free a few teardrops.

He pockets the ring, and hoists his bag onto his shoulder before making his way out of the room. As he walks down the hall he stops in front of Leah’s nursery door. He looks in and sees Louis curled up in the rocking chair, hugging Leah to him tightly as he cries silently. She stares up at him in sleepy confusion, but pats his cheek and nuzzles into his neck, promptly falling back asleep.

Harry doesn’t know if he should go in there and apologize to Louis for what he said, tell him that he didn’t mean it, or if he should just go. Go and not say good-bye. Or go in there and make this more painful than what was already said and done. He chooses to just go. Go and not say good-bye to their, his, daughter. The less drawn out the better.

A few weeks pass. And Harry spends it bouncing from Niall’s, to Liam’s, to Zayn’s, and finally when he’s overstayed his welcome at all three he goes home to Holmes Chapel. When he finally arrives he’s met by an empty house, save for Anne.

“You want to tell me what the fuck happened, Harry?” She asks, slapping him instead of giving him a hug.

“Ow! And Louis and I split up.” He says trying to mask his pain before adding, “for…good.” And he refuses to meet her gaze, choosing to look out the window, down at his shoes, anywhere, but at the disappointment he knows he’ll find in his mother’s eyes.

“Why?”

“We just fought, about everything. What diapers to use, what punishments to give, what nanny service to use. It just got to be too much. I couldn’t take it anymore.”

“Have I not taught you anything?!” Anne sighs exasperated with her son. “You don’t just get to pick and choose when you are around, Harry. Marriage, fatherhood, for Christ sakes being an ADULT doesn’t work that way!” She says adding, “I would have thought you to be the more sensible one of you and your sister.”

“I tried to make it work…”

“Oh, really? Did you try to make it work while you were telling Lou that Leah wasn’t your daughter?” Anne says, brows knit together as she waits for a response from Harry. “DID YOU?!” She asks slamming her hand on the tabletop, when he fails to respond.

“I DIDN’T MEAN IT!”

“Really? You mean to tell me, you said it JUST to hurt him? I’ve never been more disappointed in you, Harry. You know whether you like it or not you BOTH made the decision to bring that little girl into this world. You BOTH went through the process to have that little girl; therefore, she is yours just as much as she is his. You are not just abandoning Louis; you are abandoning a little girl that loves you just as much as she loves Lou. A little girl, who probably can’t figure out where her Papa has been for the last 3 weeks,” Anne says, her voice rising with each word.

“STOP, OKAY?! I get it…I’m an arsehole…”

“Oh you are more than an arsehole, Harry, you are your father.” Anne interrupts him, and Harry’s jaw drops.

“I.am.NOT.Dad.”

“Really? Then prove it to everyone. Go home, Harry, go home to Lou and Leah, because you can’t stay here. I won’t let you stay here.” Anne says.

“Are you kicking me out?”

“In short? Yes, but it’s only because I love you, and I love Lou and my granddaughter.”

“I’ll leave, but I’m not going back to the flat.”

“Yes, you will, because you have nowhere to go. I’m telling you, Harry, if you don’t want to live a life of regret, go home, work through your problems with Lou.” Anne says, as she stands grabbing his arm and leading him back to the door. She hugs him, and then opens the door and guides him onto the front porch. “One day you’ll thank me.” She says kissing his cheek and walking back inside, shutting the door.

Harry huffs and walks towards his car. He gets in slamming the door shut.

“I am an adult, damnit, she can’t tell me what to or not to do.” He says throwing the car in reverse and backing out of his mom’s drive.

He drives around Holmes Chapel for a while. He passes the village center and St. Lukes. He passes the library. He passes Mandeville’s. He drives until he happens to end up on the M6 heading back towards London, he’s not going home though.

“My father?! She said I’m like my father?!” He shouts. “I am not my father, my father is a vile person!”

He drives for 3 hrs before he reaches his and Louis’ flat.

“Fuck,” He says laying his head on the steering column, startling himself when he accidently beeps the horn.

He turns his head and looks up towards their flat. There are two lights on, Leah’s room and the lounge. “Fuck,” he says again as he takes his keys out of the ignition and opens the door of his car, hesitating for a minute before getting out.

He walks towards the massive building slowly. What would he say when he finally saw Louis? How could he ever be forgiven for disowning his daughter? His little girl. The one person he is supposed to love unconditionally and protect. The one person who has always loved him unconditionally. In an effort to be a malicious dick, and he had succeeded. “My God, I am my dad.” he says.

He stops himself in the lobby, unable to bring himself to move any further. He takes his phone out of his pocket and Louis’ ring falls out with it. He bends down and picks it up, twirling it in his fingers remembering. Remembering just how liberated  and happy they both were when they said ‘I do’. Remembering the promises they made to each other. In an instant he managed to throw everything away just to hurt Louis, as much as he himself was hurting. He swallows hard and fiercely wipes his eyes, before calling the lift.

The ride up to the 3rd floor is both excruciatingly slow and terribly fast. He didn’t know what he was going to say when he finally saw Louis. What could he possibly say for Louis to forgive him? Did he have a right to even ask for forgiveness after what he did? “Stupid Mum,” He mumbles to himself. If it wasn’t for her he wouldn’t feel like utter shite right now, but then again if it wasn’t for her he probably wouldn’t be here right now in the first place.

He walks down the hall and stands in front of their door. He contemplates how to handle it. Does he use his key and let himself in? Does he knock? Yeah, he’ll knock. He lifts his hand and hesitates for a moment. ‘You can do this.’ He thinks to himself before connecting his fist with the door.

“Come on, princess, let’s go see who it is.” He hears Louis say on the other side.

The door swings open and Louis freezes. He automatically steels his expression, and stares at Harry blankly. Leah on the other hand lights up at the sight of him. “Pa pa!” She says brightly, trying to throw herself at him, but Louis holds onto her tightly. She grunts straining against his embrace throwing her arms up in the air, and opening and closing her pudgy baby hands in a grabbing gesture. “Pa Pa!”

“What do you want, Harry?” Lou manages to ask slowly, trying to keep his voice steady. To anyone else they would have thought he succeeded, but Harry isn’t just anyone else. He know Louis better than anyone. He knows how he works and thinks. He knows his mannerisms. Not everyone would have heard that tiny crack in his voice when he went to say ‘Harry’.

But what did Harry want? He can’t exactly plead for him to take him back, can he? As Harry thinks about what to say Leah continues to strain against Louis’ embrace. She grabs at his hands and suddenly she’s tumbling forward. Harry swoops down and grabs her before she hits the floor. “Pa pa!” She says happily, hugging him tightly. “Hi, bug.” he says hugging her, nuzzling her hair, inhaling her baby fresh scent. He closes his eyes willing himself not to cry, not yet. He still had to get through his talk with Louis.

“Can I, erm, come in?” He asks Louis, motioning inside with his head, still holding onto Leah.

“Well, I can’t exactly stop you now, can I?” Louis sighs exasperated, as he turns around and heads back inside, not bothering to wait.

Harry inhales deeply and follows him, shutting the door quietly behind him. He walks into the sitting room to find Louis curled up in the corner of their wrap around couch, nursing a cuppa. He sits on the couch a few feet away from Louis, setting Leah on the floor in front of him. She immediately whines at the loss of contact and pulls herself up in between his legs, laying her head in his lap humming some nursery rhyme to herself. Harry stares down at her and pushes her baby fine hair out our her face. He can’t do it anymore. He can’t hold the tears back any longer. Tears slip down his cheeks, but he quickly wipes them away. Louis scoffs and shakes his head incredulously saying, “You have no one to blame for this besides yourself.”

Harry wanted so badly to snark back at him, but he knew that it wouldn’t get them anywhere. They would only end up fighting more, and he didn’t want that. He wanted to fix things, and make things right. He wanted his family back.

“I will take the blame for walking out, yeah? But I had too. We were both about to kill each other. We were fighting all the time, and it’s not healthy for Leah to see that, Lou.”

“I think I can handle what’s best for MY daughter, thanks.” He snaps.

“I love her, and you know that!” Harry says.

“Do I, Harry? Did you love her when you were telling me that she wasn’t yours? Did you love her when you turned your back on us and left for 3 fucking weeks?! I had to find out from the guys where you were. I had to try and explain to her, whom you claim you love SO much, why YOU weren’t around.” Louis says raising his voice with each syllable, eyes shining with unshed tears.

Harry extricates himself from Leah and stands up, walking towards Louis. He kneels in front of him, and gingerly reaches out to touch his knee. “I’m sorry I hurt you, and I can never take back what I said, but I love you both so much.” He says finally touching Louis’ knee, making him jump and pull away from him.

“Don’t touch me.” Louis says, biting his bottom lip. His resolve was starting to crack. He just wants to give up. Fly the white flag in a sign of peace. He is tired of fighting with himself. He’s tired of fighting with Harry. He just wants for Harry to wrap him in his arms. He just wants Harry, and that’s all.

Harry watches Louis intently. He watches as Louis visibly struggles with himself. He watches and he knows he’s close. Close to giving in to what his heart wants for once. He reaches out and gently touches the top of Louis’ foot, trying again. Louis is so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t even register it.  He doesn’t register it until Harry wraps his fingers around his ankle, and is tuggin his foot off the couch.

He glares at Harry, blinking his eyes rapidly as tears start to roll down his cheeks. “Y-You did the one thing that you promised you would never do. You left like everyone else I’ve ever loved has. You knew how it affected me growing up!” Louis says breaking down.

Harry gets up quickly and kneels next to Louis on the couch, pulling him into his arms. “I’m sorry.” He chants softly into Louis’ hair, holding onto him tight.

Louis feebly tries to fight him off, but Harry is both bigger and stronger than him. So, he gives in. He grabs a fistful of Harry’s shirt and cries into his chest. Seeing Louis, who is usually so emotionally strong, break down hurts Harry. It hurts him because he was the cause of this breakdown. He never once thought about the pain he would cause Louis if he left. He was selfish and stupid. So stupid.

“Dah, sad?” Leah asks as she crawls over to the couch and pulls herself up, looking very concerned.

“No, princess, I’m okay.” He says, quickly wiping his eyes as he pulls away from Harry, picking her up.

Harry lingers his hand on the back of Louis’ neck for a moment before he pulls away. He folds his hands in his lap unsure of what to do next. He wants to touch him. He wants to hold him, so badly, but he also doesn’t want to mess up the progress he’s made. He’s afraid if he pushes too hard too fast Louis will freeze him out, and he doesn’t want that. Meanwhile, Leah nuzzles into the side of Louis’ neck laying her head on his shoulder, yawning. He rubs her back in lazy circles, and her eyes start to droop shut. Once her breathing evens out and she’s asleep, he stops.

“I have to put her in bed.” Louis mumbles, standing up.

“Can I come?” Harry asks. Louis stops at the bottom of the stairs and nods his head curtly, before climbing them.

Harry can’t help, but to think of the last time they made this journey together. It was right before he left, when he had gone upstairs to grab his bag. He wonders if Louis is thinking about it too. He was. He follows Louis into the nursery avoiding looking into their bedroom. When he walks into the nursery though he’s surprised to see a blow up mattress on the floor, next to the crib. He thought Niall was joking when he told him Louis was sleeping on the floor in the nursery.

“She was sick and she wanted me with her.” Louis mumbles, when he notices Harry staring at the mattress. Harry whips his head up and nods mutely at Louis, nearing the crib.

“Night, Princess.” Louis whispers, kissing the top of her head as he raises onto his tiptoes and lays her in the crib.

Louis backs away from the crib and motions for Harry to go ahead and say goodnight. Harry leans over the side of the crib and brushes his thumb across the apple of her cheek, before kissing her forehead. “Good night, Bug.” He whispers, placing one last kiss on her forehead, and she sighs in her sleep. He pulls back and turns to face Louis, who is standing by the door biting his thumbnail.

“Hey,” Harry whispers, startling Louis out of his thoughts.

“What?” Louis asks, voice cracking as he looks up at Harry.

He looks broken. Shattered, really. His mind, body, and spirit are all shattered. He’s never felt and not felt so much at the same time before. He tries to make eye contact with Harry, but he can’t. Every time he tries, his vision blurs with tears, and he’s forced to look away. Forced to admit he’s not strong enough to do this. Forced into admitting that he needs Harry in order to survive.

“Can we, erm, talk some more?” Harry asks nervously. Louis continues to bite his thumbnail before hesitantly nodding his head, turning around and walking out of the room.

Louis curls up in his previous spot once back in the sitting room, and Harry chooses to sit on the ottoman in front of him. He twists one of the rings on his finger around a few times nervously before clearing his throat. “Do you remember the first time we met?” Harry asks him impulsively, lifting his gaze to look at Louis. Louis looks back at him and nods. “When I went back to the hotel that night you were all I could think of, I didn’t even know if you were into blokes back then, but I couldn’t stop talking about the fit lad, named Louis, that I’d met in the loo and was going to be in a band with. Gemma teased me endlessly, because I had just finally accepted myself, and had come out to them. She said I was a lovesick puppy. You know what she told me on our wedding day?” Harry asks him, and Louis shakes his head ‘no’. “That I still looked as lovesick as the day I met you. That she was proud of me, of us, for fighting for our love. And that’s what I’m doing now. I’m going to fight for you, for Leah, for our family.” Harry says, and they’re both crying now, but he can’t stop, not yet. “I will regret what I said for the rest of my life. I will have to live with my actions for the rest of my life, but make my life worth living, because without you and Leah I’ve got nothing.” Harry whispers the last part, wiping his eyes.

When Louis doesn’t immediately respond Harry’s stomach sinks. He thinks this it, he’s laid his heart completely out there. He pleaded his case, and all for nothing. “Right, well I’ll be going now.” He says, standing defeated, his heart breaking.

Harry turns and as he starts to walk away Louis clears his throat. “Unless you are going out to get your bag, then I suggest you stop right where you are.” He says, voice full of emotion.

“What?” Harry asks voice cracking, as he turns to face him. He couldn’t have possibly heard him right, could he have?

“Unless you are going out to get your bag, then I suggest you stop right where you are.” Louis repeats more slowly.

“Do not play with me, Tomlinson.” Harry says, tears threatening to spill over, his eyelashes the only thing stopping niagara falls from occurring in their sitting room.

“Styles-Tomlinson.” Louis corrects him, with a teary eyed grin.    


End file.
